Stress usually happens when you find yourself in a situation you cannot control or feel under pressure or threatened.

Most of us are used to experiencing some stress in our daily lives. A small amount of stress can be positive to move you forward, but there is also a type of stress that can be damaging and affect you mentally and physiologically. This is characterised by being intense or lasting for a long time. That’s the kind of stress that you may encounter when facing a divorce.

Divorce is rated as one of the most stressful experiences you could have in your life. It’s a significant life transition involving considerable changes. Whether the decision to end the relationship was yours, mutual or out of your hands, or whether the process is amicable or contentious, it can be a stressful and painful journey.

When children learn about their parents’ separation or divorce, they can have different experiences and reactions depending on many influential factors: age, personality, understanding, parents’ behaviour, hostility, and level of support… However, what all have in common is that they will go through a period of grief, even if the split is amicable and spend time with both parents regularly.

Children may feel a range of emotions like sadness, frustration, anger and anxiety, which can translate into emotional and behavioural difficulties: becoming naughty or demotivated, being more aggressive and controlling, or becoming quiet and withdrawn. This new situation can also make some children feel insecure. Naturally, these strong emotions and behaviour can be brought into school, affecting their social and emotional wellbeing and their concentration, ability to engage or interest in learning, which can consequently impact their academic performance.

The Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act 2020 becomes the new divorce law in England and Wales from 6 April 2022. It is the most significant reform in divorce legislation in the last 50 years. In addition to implementing a new divorce process, this new legislation removes the ability to make allegations of blame, hence being called the “no-fault” divorce law. For the first time, it allows couples to end their marriage jointly by submitting a joint application. The possibility of contesting the divorce, other than for legal reasons, has also been removed.

Most divorce experts believe that the new no-fault divorce will lead to more amicable divorces. I agree that it is a step in the right direction. The removal of fault is likely to translate into a less acrimonious start to the process. It can be the pathway to setting the right tone from the very beginning to incentivise a friendly resolution. However, is this enough for couples to achieve an amicable divorce?

Following your separation or divorce, the family dynamics will have changed. If dad is no longer at home, you may have sole responsibility for your children’s care whilst they are with you.

You may find this new parenting situation overwhelming, especially at the very beginning when trying to adjust to your new reality. The change can feel stressful as you are raising your children at home on your own without the support from your ex. You may still be grieving and dealing with the aftermath of your separation or divorce whilst trying to build your new way of life. Day to day domestic chores, work demands, financial worries and the need to safeguard and care for your children during this new episode of your life can put a strain on your well-being.