Separation or divorce can be difficult, and it can be even more complicated when children are involved. But, it is crucial to put your children’s needs first and ensure they are provided for emotionally, physically, and mentally. You can achieve this by prioritising their wellbeing and working towards a parenting relationship that is healthy and positive for all involved.

In this blog, I look at the following types of parenting so that you can decide which one would best suit your family:

• Collaborative Parenting (or Co-parenting)

• Birdnesting

• Parallel Parenting

• Distant Parenting

• Supervised Parenting

When children learn about their parents’ separation or divorce, they can have different experiences and reactions depending on many influential factors: age, personality, understanding, parents’ behaviour, hostility, and level of support… However, what all have in common is that they will go through a period of grief, even if the split is amicable and spend time with both parents regularly.

Children may feel a range of emotions like sadness, frustration, anger and anxiety, which can translate into emotional and behavioural difficulties: becoming naughty or demotivated, being more aggressive and controlling, or becoming quiet and withdrawn. This new situation can also make some children feel insecure. Naturally, these strong emotions and behaviour can be brought into school, affecting their social and emotional wellbeing and their concentration, ability to engage or interest in learning, which can consequently impact their academic performance.

Whether for financial reasons or to offer stability to your children, you may find yourself living under the same roof after splitting up while the final divorce is pending.

There is much-outdated advice online about what you should or shouldn’t do in the eyes of the law if your relationship has ended but you remain living in the same family home. Since the introduction of the new divorce legislation in England and Wales on 6 April 2022, known as the “no-fault” divorce law, there are no longer requirements to be separated for a minimum period before issuing a divorce or to prove that you are “under the same roof but living apart”. The only current requirement for divorce is a statement that the marriage has irretrievably broken down. This positive change offers separated couples the freedom and flexibility to decide how they wish to organise their new relationship and lives.