Separation or divorce can be difficult, and it can be even more complicated when children are involved. But, it is crucial to put your children’s needs first and ensure they are provided for emotionally, physically, and mentally. You can achieve this by prioritising their wellbeing and working towards a parenting relationship that is healthy and positive for all involved.

In this blog, I look at the following types of parenting so that you can decide which one would best suit your family:

• Collaborative Parenting (or Co-parenting)

• Birdnesting

• Parallel Parenting

• Distant Parenting

• Supervised Parenting

When children learn about their parents’ separation or divorce, they can have different experiences and reactions depending on many influential factors: age, personality, understanding, parents’ behaviour, hostility, and level of support… However, what all have in common is that they will go through a period of grief, even if the split is amicable and spend time with both parents regularly.

Children may feel a range of emotions like sadness, frustration, anger and anxiety, which can translate into emotional and behavioural difficulties: becoming naughty or demotivated, being more aggressive and controlling, or becoming quiet and withdrawn. This new situation can also make some children feel insecure. Naturally, these strong emotions and behaviour can be brought into school, affecting their social and emotional wellbeing and their concentration, ability to engage or interest in learning, which can consequently impact their academic performance.

Following your separation or divorce, the family dynamics will have changed. If dad is no longer at home, you may have sole responsibility for your children’s care whilst they are with you.

You may find this new parenting situation overwhelming, especially at the very beginning when trying to adjust to your new reality. The change can feel stressful as you are raising your children at home on your own without the support from your ex. You may still be grieving and dealing with the aftermath of your separation or divorce whilst trying to build your new way of life. Day to day domestic chores, work demands, financial worries and the need to safeguard and care for your children during this new episode of your life can put a strain on your well-being.